I think I'm particularly affected by it because statements like "You'll get it done!" or even "You'll do great!" don't really help. It's not the outcome that scares me (for now-- I wouldn't be surprised if that came later), it's the process itself. It's the pressure of having one shot to do your best.
Yes, that's life, right? But I don't think those "one shots" in life are this formalized, which is what makes this whole thing so stressful. My friend had a panic attack (a real, have-to-go-to-the-hospital one) while she was working on her apps. My acid reflux has come back due to the pressure, and now that I'm done with App #1 and working on App #2, I can feel the once-dwindling sickness rushing back.
I've had a bit of an ADD reading frenzy over the past 24 hours. I've read pieces from Runner's World Complete Book of Women's Running, Allure's Best of Beauty 2010 and Jennifer Aniston piece, and skimmed through Ad Age.
Got my App #2 pulled together-- just need to write that Statement of Interest now. I've left it alone for now-- enough work for me in such a sick condition.
I can feel my head start to burn. It feels dangerous.
I'm doing some laundry right now (clean sheets and towels [especially Restoration Hardware Turkish towels] make me happy) even though it costs more to use water/energy during the day. I just can't stand the idea of being sick and not sleeping in a fresh, clean bed. Trying not to feel guilty about the additional money.
It's nice to be semi productive, despite feeling under the weather. What would make me happy, though?
Hmm...
Fresh cut flowers, some sort of comfort food that I could actually stomach, a get well card, a walk outside (although I don't know if that's the best idea).
Off to fold laundry now. Really loving Modern Family right now for some reason, will probably watch an old episode while I do that. Hope I don't pass out. :/
:)
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