Sometimes the littlest thing will throw me off track. For the last few days, I've felt so insecure and lost.
But it was the littlest thing that got me back on the right course. I feel good now. Things are in perspective, and I think (for the first time) I'm finally excited about what's to come.
Annnnd for some reason my right hand has gone numb and is filled with pins and needles.
About Me
- Ingrid
- Hi, I'm a 22 year old born in '88. I'm loving the symmetry.
I also love a lot of other things, and I hope that you'll get a sense of what those things are after browsing my happiness project. This is a less formalized version of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project - I'm basically just trying to remind myself of all the things I smile about. I'm forgetful.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Future and Being 22
I had reached the point in my worry where it had started to manifest itself physically. I don't mean that I began to have headaches, or even migraines. I had symptoms so bizarre that my cool-as-a-cucumber doctor was amazed. I had symptoms that were supposedly exclusive to those with cystic fibrosis.
And I obviously couldn't continue living like that. So I started thinking. And I got better-- not 100%, but better. I think a lot, too much at times, but I try to be as self reflective as possible. I want to be the best version of myself, always.
(Even now, I just had a pang in my stomach - probably some stress).
Despite my improvement though, I needed further help. My mother and Mario suggested seeing a nutritionist for more naturopathic advice, but I'd like to argue that I eat quite well-- lots of fruit, whole grains, etc.
So late one night recently, I ordered two books from Amazon.ca. One was "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie.
I'm only on Chapter 2, but he talks about accepting the worse: "...acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of misfortune." It seems obvious, but it's easy to forget this when one is plagued and boggled by stress.
So here's my situation:
I applied to two schools for graduate studies. It was a stressful process-- and if I did it again, perhaps it wouldn't be so stressful. But as the book quotes David Seabury: "We come to maturity with as little preparation for the pressures of experience as a bookworm asked to do a ballet."
In retrospect I'm sure it will all seem a breeze, but I had already predicted this. It didn't make the present process any easier, because it was all so new to me, and I felt so lost and unguided.
But now that my applications are in, I'm trying to overcome my present anxieties. Laurier has accepted me into their program, but Ryerson has yet to decide. I was incredibly worried over the fact that Laurier was expecting a decision before Ryerson would have made up their mind.
But the worst case scenario is that I will have gotten into one school with an entrance scholarship-- which was actually increased after speaking with the director. It's not that I want to go to Ryerson particularly yet, I haven't honestly decided where I want to go. I know that's not why I'm so worried. I'm worried about the blow to my ego, I'm worried about feeling not good enough. Shouldn't everyone want me?
So I need to overcome this. I think saying it out loud to someone will make me feel better. That'll be my next step. The worst case scenario is far from bad, so hopefully my body will realize this soon enough.
And I obviously couldn't continue living like that. So I started thinking. And I got better-- not 100%, but better. I think a lot, too much at times, but I try to be as self reflective as possible. I want to be the best version of myself, always.
(Even now, I just had a pang in my stomach - probably some stress).
Despite my improvement though, I needed further help. My mother and Mario suggested seeing a nutritionist for more naturopathic advice, but I'd like to argue that I eat quite well-- lots of fruit, whole grains, etc.
So late one night recently, I ordered two books from Amazon.ca. One was "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie.
I'm only on Chapter 2, but he talks about accepting the worse: "...acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of misfortune." It seems obvious, but it's easy to forget this when one is plagued and boggled by stress.
So here's my situation:
I applied to two schools for graduate studies. It was a stressful process-- and if I did it again, perhaps it wouldn't be so stressful. But as the book quotes David Seabury: "We come to maturity with as little preparation for the pressures of experience as a bookworm asked to do a ballet."
In retrospect I'm sure it will all seem a breeze, but I had already predicted this. It didn't make the present process any easier, because it was all so new to me, and I felt so lost and unguided.
But now that my applications are in, I'm trying to overcome my present anxieties. Laurier has accepted me into their program, but Ryerson has yet to decide. I was incredibly worried over the fact that Laurier was expecting a decision before Ryerson would have made up their mind.
But the worst case scenario is that I will have gotten into one school with an entrance scholarship-- which was actually increased after speaking with the director. It's not that I want to go to Ryerson particularly yet, I haven't honestly decided where I want to go. I know that's not why I'm so worried. I'm worried about the blow to my ego, I'm worried about feeling not good enough. Shouldn't everyone want me?
So I need to overcome this. I think saying it out loud to someone will make me feel better. That'll be my next step. The worst case scenario is far from bad, so hopefully my body will realize this soon enough.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Staying True
Often I've been told to start a YouTube channel, or to write a serious blog. What I mean by serious is that I should be writing about relevant things - things that would attract traffic, like restaurant reviews, etc. And while I certainly have my strong opinions about food, the whole purpose of my happy blog was to not have to worry about what others thought.
I often struggle with finding balance. You obviously have to push yourself in order to grow, and not get comfortable. But at the same time, I don't want to spend my entire life striving for the future. I want to be happy with my present as well. In terms of my career, I try to keep tabs on what I need to get where I want to go. But (and there always seems to be that "but") I'm so young, don't I have my whole life to figure that out? Isn't that the big problem with people in their 20s-- trying to have everything figured out right away? I've been told by my older friends that you try and try so hard, but you never end up where you think you will, so you might as well not kill yourself over it. I'm trying to listen to that advice.
Yesterday was my one year anniversary with Mario. There were many culinary adventures, and part of me thought "Oh I should write about the food in detail. I should practice food writing" and yet, while I love talking about food, I still don't know if I would want a career out of it. And part of me wants to keep our weekend private.
So instead I'm just going to post some of the photo booth pictures we took at a subway station, all the David's Tea I bought (Toasted Walnut, Quangzhou Milk Oolong, Secret Weapon, Organic Pu'erh Ginger, and Fantasy Island), and a book I found while we were looking in the bargain section of Book City.
I'm trying to ask myself "Why am I doing this?" before I act nowadays. If it's purely because I feel obligated to, or for others, then I try my best not to. And so, this is all I'll be sharing for now :)
I often struggle with finding balance. You obviously have to push yourself in order to grow, and not get comfortable. But at the same time, I don't want to spend my entire life striving for the future. I want to be happy with my present as well. In terms of my career, I try to keep tabs on what I need to get where I want to go. But (and there always seems to be that "but") I'm so young, don't I have my whole life to figure that out? Isn't that the big problem with people in their 20s-- trying to have everything figured out right away? I've been told by my older friends that you try and try so hard, but you never end up where you think you will, so you might as well not kill yourself over it. I'm trying to listen to that advice.
Yesterday was my one year anniversary with Mario. There were many culinary adventures, and part of me thought "Oh I should write about the food in detail. I should practice food writing" and yet, while I love talking about food, I still don't know if I would want a career out of it. And part of me wants to keep our weekend private.
So instead I'm just going to post some of the photo booth pictures we took at a subway station, all the David's Tea I bought (Toasted Walnut, Quangzhou Milk Oolong, Secret Weapon, Organic Pu'erh Ginger, and Fantasy Island), and a book I found while we were looking in the bargain section of Book City.
I'm trying to ask myself "Why am I doing this?" before I act nowadays. If it's purely because I feel obligated to, or for others, then I try my best not to. And so, this is all I'll be sharing for now :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Videos
If I'm trying to figure out and seek happiness in this project, then this is a key discovery... I LOVE this video, it makes me feel so squishy and warm inside and I just want to cuddle up when I see it.
It really cheered me up after I watched Spike Jonze's short film, "I'm here": http://www.imheremovie.com. Cool effort, but I felt this horrible crushed and helpless feeling after watching it.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Jason Wu Fall 2011 Collection
Pretty.
I also really love J. Mendel's Spring 2011 collection - more so, actually, but I'm too lazy to paste pictures. Plus I love the whole show.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Lucky
As I've mentioned, I was in the process of applying for my MA...
So a few days ago, I was milling about the house when I noticed a new e-mail: an early acceptance from Laurier with an entrance scholarship!!! I was so excited!! I'm still waiting to hear from Ryerson, but it's such a giant relief.
I do get a bit peeved when people say "See? What were you stressed about?" I understand the sentiment, so I'm not mad, but I kept articulating that I was stressed about the process-- rather than being stressed about the outcome. And even if I was stressed about the outcome, how would my current success have prevented me from being stressed in the time when I had no idea what my chances were?
Anyways, I've been burning out from two jobs... It'll be at least another month of feeling over worked. Today's my first day off in a while, and it was really nice. It's really important to recharge your batteries and to get your down time.
Mario and I went for a Timmie's run-- I got my bagel and we played roll up the rim. I WON A DONUT I was so happy.
Spontaneously I suggested we buy a scratch card, and so we meticulously went through a Bingo card. We could have scratched the whole thing very efficiently, but I liked that we took our time sitting outside of Shoppers, being so careful.
$12!!! Even the gas station attendant was impressed when we went to collect it. Before we scratched it, and before we rolled our rims, I made M hold hands while we thought about all the good things that have been happening to us, and what we're fortunate to have.
I think I should do that more often. When I'm upset, it's easy to let everything sort of cave in. It's natural, but then on the flip side, if I'm happy, I should try to let all the happy moments collect together as well.
In the mean time, I'm struggling with how to treat my finances. On one hand, I'm still paying off my last trip to Vietnam. On the other hand, I'm young and this is my only opportunity to be "irresponsible" with money. And that's one of my new resolutions, to be a little more carefree-- even if it means being a bit irresponsible. I'm only young once.
So a few days ago, I was milling about the house when I noticed a new e-mail: an early acceptance from Laurier with an entrance scholarship!!! I was so excited!! I'm still waiting to hear from Ryerson, but it's such a giant relief.
I do get a bit peeved when people say "See? What were you stressed about?" I understand the sentiment, so I'm not mad, but I kept articulating that I was stressed about the process-- rather than being stressed about the outcome. And even if I was stressed about the outcome, how would my current success have prevented me from being stressed in the time when I had no idea what my chances were?
Anyways, I've been burning out from two jobs... It'll be at least another month of feeling over worked. Today's my first day off in a while, and it was really nice. It's really important to recharge your batteries and to get your down time.
Mario and I went for a Timmie's run-- I got my bagel and we played roll up the rim. I WON A DONUT I was so happy.
Spontaneously I suggested we buy a scratch card, and so we meticulously went through a Bingo card. We could have scratched the whole thing very efficiently, but I liked that we took our time sitting outside of Shoppers, being so careful.
$12!!! Even the gas station attendant was impressed when we went to collect it. Before we scratched it, and before we rolled our rims, I made M hold hands while we thought about all the good things that have been happening to us, and what we're fortunate to have.
I think I should do that more often. When I'm upset, it's easy to let everything sort of cave in. It's natural, but then on the flip side, if I'm happy, I should try to let all the happy moments collect together as well.
In the mean time, I'm struggling with how to treat my finances. On one hand, I'm still paying off my last trip to Vietnam. On the other hand, I'm young and this is my only opportunity to be "irresponsible" with money. And that's one of my new resolutions, to be a little more carefree-- even if it means being a bit irresponsible. I'm only young once.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Spring is coming
There's so much I want to write about! I want to write about my Winterlicious dinner at Auberge de Pommier, I want to write about a lovely breakfast I had with Mario--as well as our Valentine's Day, my thoughts about school and work, myself, and all these little fun incidents I've had over the past few days. It all keeps piling up!
For now though...
I've been spinning with my friend Jen at Quad Spin and it's been really great to take a class again. I still miss my beloved hot yoga at Moksha, but this is a really nice change of pace.
After spinning with Jen today, I met my friend Jennie for dinner at Kit Kat, an Italian restaurant on King West.
They had osso bucco-- a dish my mother had recently made that I really enjoyed. Obviiiiously I couldn't pass up the chance to try it "professionally" made, so I ordered it (despite being really tempted by one of the daily specials: goat cheese agnolotti with roasted corn, tomatoes etc...). Overall I really liked it. The meat was tender, the marrow was a wonderful, the tomato flavor was bright, and they gave me the perfect amount of fettucine to go with everything. My only complaint was that the dish was a quite oily (There were big pools of it by the end), but the atmosphere of the restaurant itself was really lovely. Jennie ordered their fusilli with a cream sauce, and to my surprise it was so nice and light. I usually avoid cream sauces because they're so heavy, but the bite I tried from her plate was pretty good.
Another little thing that makes me happy: sharing food, or sampling food from other people. Breaking bread and all that right?
Speaking of bread (what a convenient segue), I have been craving/enjoying bagels from Tim Horton's for breakfast. It reminds me of my weekend in St. Kitts for some reason.
However, I think the emotional craving has been satisfied. Now I just notice that by starting my morning with white carbs, I feel off for the rest of the day. I think I'm going back to my protein shake tomorrow morning.
And just a final picture before I sign off on this random update:
[Picture of inside the cafe is from Blogto.com]
My friend Amy took me to a cute dessert place a few days ago: Cafe Princess near Yonge and Finch on the second floor of another restaurant. The fondue we shared was alright, but I'd go just for the environment. It's very girly, though. There's rose print couches everywhere and little white Christmas lights everywhere. It made me happy, having a good girl chat in a place like that. Amy and I both mistook random people as servers though-- I don't think they were pleased. Uniforms!!!
For now though...
I've been spinning with my friend Jen at Quad Spin and it's been really great to take a class again. I still miss my beloved hot yoga at Moksha, but this is a really nice change of pace.
After spinning with Jen today, I met my friend Jennie for dinner at Kit Kat, an Italian restaurant on King West.
They had osso bucco-- a dish my mother had recently made that I really enjoyed. Obviiiiously I couldn't pass up the chance to try it "professionally" made, so I ordered it (despite being really tempted by one of the daily specials: goat cheese agnolotti with roasted corn, tomatoes etc...). Overall I really liked it. The meat was tender, the marrow was a wonderful, the tomato flavor was bright, and they gave me the perfect amount of fettucine to go with everything. My only complaint was that the dish was a quite oily (There were big pools of it by the end), but the atmosphere of the restaurant itself was really lovely. Jennie ordered their fusilli with a cream sauce, and to my surprise it was so nice and light. I usually avoid cream sauces because they're so heavy, but the bite I tried from her plate was pretty good.
Another little thing that makes me happy: sharing food, or sampling food from other people. Breaking bread and all that right?
Speaking of bread (what a convenient segue), I have been craving/enjoying bagels from Tim Horton's for breakfast. It reminds me of my weekend in St. Kitts for some reason.
However, I think the emotional craving has been satisfied. Now I just notice that by starting my morning with white carbs, I feel off for the rest of the day. I think I'm going back to my protein shake tomorrow morning.
And just a final picture before I sign off on this random update:
[Picture of inside the cafe is from Blogto.com]
My friend Amy took me to a cute dessert place a few days ago: Cafe Princess near Yonge and Finch on the second floor of another restaurant. The fondue we shared was alright, but I'd go just for the environment. It's very girly, though. There's rose print couches everywhere and little white Christmas lights everywhere. It made me happy, having a good girl chat in a place like that. Amy and I both mistook random people as servers though-- I don't think they were pleased. Uniforms!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)